Whispers

I've been longing for community a lot lately. I've been longing to be in community... to be in communion ... with others who think like I do, who can laugh at the things I laugh at, who can understand where i'm coming from. I've been longing to be in community. Community - we've changed what that very word means. This blog world we now live in is called a "community". Albeit it's online, but it's an online community. I even feel like we commune with others the easy ways these days - through a cell phone, over email ... over a blog. I had a friend once that got her feelings hurt when I encouraged her to read our blog when she asked what was going on in my life.

seriously, I told her to read our blog - is that what it's become? I love the ability of a blog to put pictures or stories, or deepest thoughts out there for anyone at any time to stumble across. I've really had my spirit lifted by many of the blogs I stumble across. I read the blogs by these women who somewhere out there are going through many of the same things that I am (and some much worse). Are they sitting at their laptop right now, in the final moments before nap time for the 10 month old is over. Are they typing their feelings because something has been on their mind? And why are they putting it out there? And yet, we've replaced community and communion for a onesided discussion... I type, you read - I can even block you from responding (although I haven't). Perhaps the longing of my heart is not for community or communion with others - but communion with Jesus.

I've felt pretty stagnant lately in my walk with Him. I have felt pretty isolated from his presence and yet, I keep being reminded of what a dear old friend once told me - "you must feel the absence of God to understand and appreciate his presence". I'm appreciating the need for his presence more and more. I hear gentle whispers of Him from time to time and yet, here I sit, waiting on him to seek me. Isn't that what he tells us to do - Be Still and KNOW... be still and know. Two of the hardest things I think to do - to be still is to not take action. To Know is to not doubt... just to know.

whispers... oh God, continue to whisper and pursue and pull me back to you.